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“Mercy! Forgiving when it’s Hard” covered certain misconceptions about forgiveness, misunderstandings that get in the way of our willingness to forgive. It was written primarily to help us take down strongholds of the will and strongholds in our understanding, so we will hopefully let go and take the forgiveness plunge.

This second post on forgiveness focuses more on the emotional aspect: forgiveness in situations that are loaded with heartache and trauma! As we learn how to release what we’ve been carrying around emotionally regarding specific forgiveness situations, whole memories can be redeemed. Then our emotional reactions in the present can change. No more “faking it until you make it!” Real change is accomplished by the Holy Spirit. It’s quick and easy once we decide we’re ready to let go and know how!

 We release our painful emotions to God. He takes them and gives us his loving emotions in their place. We can receive deep cleansing. We can be set free, restored and made even stronger. We can give him our hurts. Then Lord can then remove ugly buttons from our hearts; buttons that get pushed and set us off in the present because of something unhealed in our past.

As we entrust him with washing out our hurts, we’re taking intimacy with God deeper, moving our relationship with him to a whole new level. We’re moving in childlike faith. We’re exposing those painful emotions associated with our memories to his tender loving, healing, cleansing river. Then God can wash us on an emotional level. We’re cleansed and more able to express the beautiful fruit of peace and joy in the Holy Spirit more of the time.

“How do I change the way I feel?” you may wonder. Without the Lord, you probably can’t! All you can do is push the pain back down into the subconscious to have it pop back up later. But GOD within you can if you’ll let him! He can remove any emotion we’re willing to give him. He can change our hearts. He can do it in seconds. He can put the opposite emotion in its place, and he will do it when we make room for him to work within our hearts and ask. What an amazing trade! Beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness! What a trade! What love! Will we trust him enough to let him do it?

Ready to let God move? Great! Pray this way: “God, I trust you with my heart. Lord, change me. I let go of what happened. I set all others free and I set myself free of this memory and its pain. I give you my feeling of _____.  I don’t want it anymore. Not just the idea, but from my gut I give you the actual feeling itself. The new me, the completely healed me seated in heavenly places with Christ does not have this feeling, so I don’t want it in me here on earth either. I give you permission to do emotional surgery on me and remove what does not belong. Release your holy river and wash through my innermost being.

I won’t hide my feelings from you or try to manage them on my own, I give it all to you…. (*Now wait in silence with an open heart until you feel an emotional shift. It only takes a moment. It may help to imagine God’s river washing through your belly. You’ll know when it happens. You’ll feel the shift.)  I receive your peace and your joy. Thank you for taking that emotional burden away. Thank you for giving me the courage to trust you with all this. Thank you for helping me let go. Thank you for this new ___ feeling inside. I feel so much better!”

Isaiah 61:3 ESV

…to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified.

Copyright 2025

Comment below was added based on private reader feedback:

*The shift that can be felt, at minimum, is, that icky feeling in the person draining away. If they feel nothing afterward, keep in mind, nothing is a big improvement. Nonetheless, when the hurt is gone, the person can receive the opposite feeling by faith and thank God. It’s done.

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Copyright 2025

Resources for further study:
Live Free (paperback) by Dennis and Jennifer Clark

Emotional Healing Made Simple by Praying Medic